Simple. And the size of an Apple.

#Deflategate.

Anyone else tired of this story? Well as a tried and true Patriots fan I sure am. Can I tell you what I would like to deflate? My apple sized ovarian cyst. Thank you tamoxifen. At least I know your working? The sports headline is slightly misleading. I'm going to be talking about pelvic exams and the gynecologist. Feel free to stop reading.

Cut back to December and multiple doctor appointments for vague lower abdominal pain. The pain was pretty non-specific and not sharp. Just dull and crampy. The "nice" thing about having cancer in your breast is that your physical exams of the area are less intrusive as you only need to take your shirt off. Granted someone else is trying to squeeze the life out of you and you have small moments of panic if they spend too long on one area. However, in order to evaluate for ovarian cysts involved a couple of pelvic exams (I mean who doesn't look forward to these) and a whole new barrel of fun known as a transvaginal ultrasound.. While having yet another new member of the gynecology staff physically palpate my ovaries internally I did find a moment to be grateful that the "women's cancer" I had was breast. And it made me chuckle a little. Which did make the NP give me a quizzical look. I expalined. And she chuckled a little too. And then she told me what she was recommending: aleve for pain as needed (easy) and transvaginal ultrasound.  After confirming that it was necessary to have it done before vacation I scheduled it for my first day back. Nothing says back from vacation like working a whole day and then having medical tests. (Side note: this is a very frequent occurrence for me, I have scheduled an MD appointment or vaccine shot or MUGA scan or CT Scan after every. single. vacation. Since I finished treatment. I would change this pattern, but really the first week back from vacation your already have your cranky pants on why not get poked and prodded?

So back from vacation and time for transvaginal ultrasound. I go to check in. The woman at the desk doesn't know how to check me in for this test because I didn't come from another appointment. Not a good start. The eventually figure it out and I get my wrist band. Sitting in an ultrasound waiting room. Attempting to not have flashbacks to the last time I sat in an ultrasound waiting room. Trying not to think about how the tech called the Radiologist in to look at what she saw. I knew there was not concern that this was cancer, but my recent history still messes with my head.

Thankfully they are right on schedule and I only have to momentarily fight bad thoughts. The ultra sound tech is fantastic. She and I chat about where I work in the hospital and she gives me the heads up that the ultra sound jelly is cold. She checks my kidneys and likes so much what she sees that she spends extra time to get pictures perfect. She informs me that the machine is new and she is getting textbook pictures. I'll take it. After the external ultrasound comes the internal. So ya, they stick the probe right up in there. However, the new machine does take great pictures. I told her I thought I had an ovarian cyst on the right side. She was able to get great photos of it. 3D images. She thanked me for my patience. I thanked her for repeatedly confirming for me that the cyst was simple. smooth. no jagged lines. and the size of an apple. Well that explains some things.

The NP was able to confirm that it was simple. smooth. no jagged lines. and the size of an apple. The only follow up they recommended was another ultra sound the beginning of March to make sure that it dissolves on its own. So I am patiently waiting for my own #deflategate. This morning while out for my run I could 100% tell you exactly the shape and location of the cyst. Most of the time it doesn't give me pain. I'd like it to go away. You know, until the tamoxifen causes another one. And hopefully it doesn't burst like the last one.

An Active Participant

As documented through my many posts about my enrollment in the PRESENT I enjoy helping forward the science around breast cancer. I am so grateful for all who came before me and participated. The fact that my chemo was approved less than 20 years ago and tamoxifen is only 40 years old treatment, for breast cancer is still being developed by leaps and bounds. Participating in the vaccine study is super important to me to help shape future treatment. It's how I feel that I can give back.

Now I have found even more ways to give back, in the name of science. And sometimes all they want is my blood. I have been turned onto an amazing resource called the Army of Women. Here they have other blogs to read, resources and most importantly they have a list of Current Projects. This is a program of the Dr. Susan Love Research Program and they have open studies posted on the site. Well, guess what I found a new study to enroll in, its called Breast Cancer Risk in Young Women Study. The researchers are looking at genetic factors for women who had breast cancer at 40 years or younger. From the Army of Women site I was able to let the researchers know of my interest; I fit the bill and they sent me an email to confirm my interest. I confirmed my interest and a package arrived in the mail. It contained consent forms (for the release of my medical history, pathology reports, previous genetic tests, etc), a box with two blood tubes and a FedEx return envelope. All I had to do was sign the forms and get my blood drawn. Easy. Peasy. Lemon Squeezy.

This time I was able to recruit two other people to be involved in the genetic testing. Mom and Dad. So now I have family members sending their blood across the country in the name of science! I also completed at phone interview for my family history. When I get to my paternal grandmother and detail her and her sisters history of ovarian cancer I got the usual response "Oh dear". Zero breast cancer though. A very interesting genetic history. Maybe this one will turn up a marker, maybe it wont. However, I know that the more data that studies have the better chance they may find a commonality in young women with breast cancer and find why the incidence might be increasing. And all they wanted was two tubes of blood. 

Also, looking at the studies the Nutrition Nerd in me totally wished I lived in Chicago and could enroll in the gut microbes and breast cancer study. Fascinating stuff.

Booyah

ESPN anchor Stuart Scott died this morning. It was only this summer that I found out about his battles with cancer while watching the ESPY awards. Scott first diagnosed in 2007, then with recurrences in 2011 and 2013. I was amazed to see the rigorous workout regimen of mixed martial arts that he continued to follow through out all the chemotherapy treatments he had done. His spirit and thirst for life was always evident. During his ESPY acceptance speech for the Jimmy V Perseverance award he had some of the most profound insight into cancer treatment.

When you die, it does not mean that you lose to cancer. You beat cancer every day by how you live, why you live and the manner in which you live.

This quote is so perfect. Stuart Scott had accepted that death could be coming his way. Yet he fought and beat cancer every day by how he lived his life. When you watched him on Sportscenter you would never know his battles. He exuded energy and some of the greatest catch phrases ever. He inspired one of my favorite SNL skits of all time. His life and how he lived, why he lived and the manner in which he lived continue to inspire me to live mine. Booyah.

If you want to see the ESPN tribute to his life go here.

Happy 2015

Whoa. Another year down. How did that happen?

The Boston Globe alerted me to something I missed this year. New legislation in the state of Massachusetts that if you have dense breast tissue that you must be notified that a) you have dense breast tissue b)that it may increase your risk of breast cancer. The full text of the Act Relative to Breast Cancer and Early Detection can be found here.  How did I miss this in June? I think I was busy having too much fun. In fact I know I was.

This year was pretty great. I continued to have a clean bill of health. I did things I never would have done before cancer; running long distance, online dating and becoming that person who awkwardly overshares all aspects of her life in person and not just online. I also returned to the track to run like a boss!

And the biggest event for all of my family was the birth of my precious niece. It's really great to have this little ball of sunshine. My colleagues have been great and allow me to torture them with endless photos. My roommate allows me to put photos of her in the living room, kitchen, hallway....I'm a little obsessed. As previously posted she truly is the manifestation of love, joy, strength, and perseverance. And cuteness. Holy Cuteness Batman.

In 2015 I am looking forward to more visits with the niece. I will try to eat less sugar, but given that I ate two cookies while my oatmeal  cooked this morning, it's going to take a lot to reform my cookie monster ways. There just so good! I am looking forward to all the new survivorversaries and all the other celebrations the year with bring.

See you in 2015!

eat, drink and be merry

Are you simply having a wonderful Christmas time? I know I am. My family and I are celebrating in Arizona this year. Currently there is a great flood of sunshine outside. And as my niece is 8 weeks today there is also a great deal of sunshine inside. 

I have found that post cancer I am a much more relaxed traveler.  The woman at the air line counter was probably grateful for that. You see when I showed up for my flight I couldn't check in at the kiosk, which was weird. So I waited in line for about an hour to talk to someone at the counter. At this point my flight leaves in 50 minutes. The woman at the counter pulls up my name and says "You flew yesterday". I pulled out my itinerary her company emailed me and showed her that I was schedule for the flight on Saturday. She starts making phone calls, I start making phone calls to let my parents know we may be on separate flights. The woman behind the counter gets put on endless hold. Her eyes keep growing wider while she looks at me. I've see this look before, it means things are not going well on the other end of the phone. Eventually her manager comes over and she explains the situation. In one key strike he has a new upgraded ticket issued for me and I am on my merry way. I make my original flight with enough time to get a large frozen yogurt . I did enjoy my newly acquired leg room. The kid sitting next to me asked when I finished my finals, "2004" I replied. 

 Since the preflight drama I've enjoyed a nice relaxed time spent with snuggles and smiles. Here is my niece and I both in our breast cancer awareness shirts. Starting her early. 

I always enjoy the dryness of Arizona as my muscles and joints often feel better and my legs have been really sore and tight. Well, the dryness isn't quite working there full magic. Yesterday's run was great. During today's much shorter run I learned I am part Bumble, because boy do I bounce. My legs had zero juice the second I started running and when I was about to turn a corner for the last street, my foot caught the pavement and I tumbled. I hit the ground but bounced right back to my feet to finish. I was just telling someone how it had been a year since I fell running. Oops jinxed myself. 

Otherwise I am in exceptional health, and it will always be something I am grateful for every holiday season. And while we will definitely not be having a white Christmas, "May all your days be Merry and Bright"

Because I'm filled with the holiday spirit

The title of the post is the exact phrase I used multiple times today after I would just giggle or after I put what I was going to order for lunch to the tune "Hallelujah" (Big @ss lobster roll, a lobster roll, a lobster roll, buffalo shrimp, some shrimp, some shrimp, and Boston Creme Pie). I have a lovely singing voice {if there were a sarcasm font it would have been used here}

Today is the 2 year anniversary of completing chemotherapy infusions. Which means Mom and I both take the day off from work complete our holiday shopping and go for a delicious lunch. It also means that we are filled with holiday spirit and the shear joy of having everything worked out so well. And today I got my haircut. In celebration of having full scalp coverage.

Pictured here is this years ornament (and my necklace). My mother has given me an ornament every year I've been alive and it gives me plenty to decorate my tree with. $2 from every Hallmark ornament get donated to the Susan G. Koman for the Cure Foundation 











Every survivorversary I have I wear this necklace that I found. It's made from an old scrabble tile. It reads hope n. the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best.

Fitting for the season of hope. What a happy day.

The HOW Study

Sometimes "liking" things on Facebook gives you great leads. For example, following Tom Brady shows you his hilarious stint as Gary the telemarketer or an adorable photo of his daughter watching him play on TV. And sometimes "liking" the Young Survival Coalition  leads you to find the HOW study. The HOW study is the Health of Woman study. It is conducted by the Dr. Susan Love Research foundation and it is an international online study in order to get information about women and men with and without breast cancer. The idea is to collect data on a broad spectrum on health and environmental exposures. The HOW study is a series of questionnaires. In classic consent form it states that their is no benefit from this study, however if enough people provide information about their lives perhaps new sources of breast cancer can be found. This is especially exciting to people like me who are Sara 43 Genes 0 and still would like to know if there was something specific that caused or led to my breast cancer.

If you want to partake go here:

https://www.healthofwomenstudy.org/

All they want is your time and information. And potentially tissue samples if your a survivor. More data, more potential correlations. Yay Science!