Simple. And the size of an Apple.

#Deflategate.

Anyone else tired of this story? Well as a tried and true Patriots fan I sure am. Can I tell you what I would like to deflate? My apple sized ovarian cyst. Thank you tamoxifen. At least I know your working? The sports headline is slightly misleading. I'm going to be talking about pelvic exams and the gynecologist. Feel free to stop reading.

Cut back to December and multiple doctor appointments for vague lower abdominal pain. The pain was pretty non-specific and not sharp. Just dull and crampy. The "nice" thing about having cancer in your breast is that your physical exams of the area are less intrusive as you only need to take your shirt off. Granted someone else is trying to squeeze the life out of you and you have small moments of panic if they spend too long on one area. However, in order to evaluate for ovarian cysts involved a couple of pelvic exams (I mean who doesn't look forward to these) and a whole new barrel of fun known as a transvaginal ultrasound.. While having yet another new member of the gynecology staff physically palpate my ovaries internally I did find a moment to be grateful that the "women's cancer" I had was breast. And it made me chuckle a little. Which did make the NP give me a quizzical look. I expalined. And she chuckled a little too. And then she told me what she was recommending: aleve for pain as needed (easy) and transvaginal ultrasound.  After confirming that it was necessary to have it done before vacation I scheduled it for my first day back. Nothing says back from vacation like working a whole day and then having medical tests. (Side note: this is a very frequent occurrence for me, I have scheduled an MD appointment or vaccine shot or MUGA scan or CT Scan after every. single. vacation. Since I finished treatment. I would change this pattern, but really the first week back from vacation your already have your cranky pants on why not get poked and prodded?

So back from vacation and time for transvaginal ultrasound. I go to check in. The woman at the desk doesn't know how to check me in for this test because I didn't come from another appointment. Not a good start. The eventually figure it out and I get my wrist band. Sitting in an ultrasound waiting room. Attempting to not have flashbacks to the last time I sat in an ultrasound waiting room. Trying not to think about how the tech called the Radiologist in to look at what she saw. I knew there was not concern that this was cancer, but my recent history still messes with my head.

Thankfully they are right on schedule and I only have to momentarily fight bad thoughts. The ultra sound tech is fantastic. She and I chat about where I work in the hospital and she gives me the heads up that the ultra sound jelly is cold. She checks my kidneys and likes so much what she sees that she spends extra time to get pictures perfect. She informs me that the machine is new and she is getting textbook pictures. I'll take it. After the external ultrasound comes the internal. So ya, they stick the probe right up in there. However, the new machine does take great pictures. I told her I thought I had an ovarian cyst on the right side. She was able to get great photos of it. 3D images. She thanked me for my patience. I thanked her for repeatedly confirming for me that the cyst was simple. smooth. no jagged lines. and the size of an apple. Well that explains some things.

The NP was able to confirm that it was simple. smooth. no jagged lines. and the size of an apple. The only follow up they recommended was another ultra sound the beginning of March to make sure that it dissolves on its own. So I am patiently waiting for my own #deflategate. This morning while out for my run I could 100% tell you exactly the shape and location of the cyst. Most of the time it doesn't give me pain. I'd like it to go away. You know, until the tamoxifen causes another one. And hopefully it doesn't burst like the last one.