Practicing Comfort In, Dump Out

The LA Times Op Ed from April, 2013 titled "How not to say the wrong thing" really is one of the greatest things ever written. It helps set boundaries for people and because people often don't know what to do in a crisis it gives you an outline of what is acceptable and unacceptable to say.

Image Source: http://articles.latimes.com/2013/apr/07/opinion/la-oe-0407-silk-ring-theory-20130407

 The person in crisis is the center of the circle and they can complain or say anything to any of the rings. Whichever ring you find yourself in you provide comfort in and you can only complain to the rings outside of your own.

Sometimes I feel like this should be posted around the hospital. I am amazed by the things that people say to other family members. I still remember some of the inappropriate things people said to me through out treatment. People have the right to feel their feelings, but they forget the key piece that you don't have the right to share you feelings with whomever you like.

Having transitioned out of being the person in the center, helps make you better at this and a little aware that not everyone has read this article or is actively practicing "Comfort In, Dump Out".  When in doubt, just listen.

And when you need to send a card send one by Emily McDowell.