Today we celebrate a man, who like an ogre and an onion, has many layers. Today we celebrate the man who gave to me my coping mechanism; my sense of humor. My dad found almost every post funny and would try to explain to my mom why things were funny. His favorite video posted was after surgery, and when I could hear him watch the video and laugh, every night after I had surgery and was staying with them. Hearing him laugh helped me heal faster.
My father has his on special brand of encouragement. He will tell you that "It's not that bad." and "You'll be fine". It somehow always makes you feel better. You know when you've really turned a corner because he will say "That's old news". Even when bald and pale my father would say "You have cancer? No, that's last weeks news". It made me feel wonderfully normal at a time needed.
My father is extremely difficult to stress out, it's a quality we've all been thankful for. He's who you call when "your a donkey on the edge" and he'll talk you down every time. He knows you just need to come up with a plan and "You'll be fine". Then he'll help you come up with a plan. Or when your being totally irrational and are ready to chew the head of the genetic counselor who is doing her job and trying to help you he'll shoot you the look to know you should knock it off.
Happy Father's Day! And in your honor one of our favorite songs (and a place Mom thinks we should go)
Last Friday I had to skip dinner with a friend because I was coughing to much to carry on a conversation. This Friday I thought I was feeling better. You would think getting immune boosting vaccines and being a cancer free individual would mean you didn't catch every bug that rolled it's way through the hospital. But, alas, when I sat down to have dinner I start to feel a little nauseous (red flag #1). We were at one of my favorite restaurants and I ordered my favorite meal. I ate about 1/3rd of it (red flag #2). As we were paying the check I started to get really hot and for a minute thought maybe this was all hot flash related (red flag #3). I hurried out of the restaurant and did something I have never done before. I vomited for a solid 10 minutes into a sewer grate at a busy intersection. In public. At 8 pm at night. I wanted a really large sign that says "I am not drunk and this is not a reflection on where I just ate".
As it is well documented on this blog that I am, as my mother would say "soft as a grape", I immediately thought of this gross SNL video.
I'm happy to report I woke up feeling better this morning and hoping to go for a run tomorrow.
Big brothers are the best. They teach you how to be tough. Their method of practicing WWE wrestling moves on you may be a little unorthodox, but it makes you tough none the less. They teach you to be quick witted, by communicating only through insults and bickering. This also proves to continue to be the best way to drive your mother insane.
Big brothers are your constant protectors, regardless of your age or the size of the enemy. They are your cheerleaders and always dream big for you. They send you a Patriots breast cancer tote bag so you have something to cart your stuff to and from chemo. They make tshirts and run road races in your honor. They embrace that you don't drink alcohol and find special soda just for vacation. And big brothers may live clear across the country, but when you see them you bet they will try to squeeze the life out of you with a bear hug.
Today is the birthday of my one and only awesome big brother. Happy Birthday!
Our track club was putting out our quarterly newsletter and the theme of this edition was resilience. Our spring newsletter is usually about the Boston Marathon, but given this year's events we wanted something upbeat. I decided to write a piece about how running got me through cancer treatment and is helping keep me in the survivor category. You can read the piece here.
Also, you may note that the writing quality and grammar is much better than that found on this blog. That is because the newsletter has an editor and my brain does not.
Stacey, the MICU nurse who passed along the bear has a TV commercial out showing just how much she kicks ass! She is now the Nurse Educator at the hospital, a role I know she is perfect for as she taught me so much during my breast cancer fight. She also offers great prospective as she was diagnosed while out on active military duty. It's nice to see other breast cancer survivors regaining strength lost during treatment and working hard to fight off recurrence.
Isn't vacation nice? Don't you hate the wake up calls you get to remind you that your are no longer on vacation and have to function like an adult human being.
Acclimation to normal life started with the plane landing. When I was in Elementary school when we came back from April vacation this song was really popular and I remember it torturing my mother every morning for a week it played on our ride to school. Naturally I serenaded her and my father with it upon our plane landing.
back to life, back to reality back to the here and now yeah
Friday after getting home from the red eye flight was a series of wake up calls. First, I had to clean my own bathroom Second, it was back into maintaining cancer survivor work. It was 93 and humid so me and my geri curl took the bus to the hospital. The bus was not air conditioned and was crowded. Yay real life! At the hospital I had to give urine, blood and then some extra blood. The RN in charge of the study let me know that she didn't know what two of the extra tubes of blood were for but that the study required them. Fine by me. Apparently my body can just make some more (my blood work showed that I am not anemic, so I am confident I will make some more blood. My oncologist was out sick so one of the Nurse Practitioner's that I had not met did my physical exam. She asked me a serious of questions, such as "Any changes in appetite" "Any fatigue" and in 12 questions I answered "No" to all of them. She also asked me if I only answered "No" to questions. My sleep deprived brain found this hilarious which resulted in a a suspicious look. After the exam it was time for the 4 injections in my right thigh. Just like the previous injections the first 2 were fine and the last two stung like the dickens. I squirmed in my seat so much that the RN doing the injections said to me a little nervously "You know I always get worried that one of my patients is going to hit me when I torture them with the injections.". I responded "Yeah, I'll sit on my hands". No large amount of swelling just redness the size of quarters at each injection site. The bus got stuck on traffic on the way home and took 80 minutes to make the 30 minute trip.
back to life, back to the present time back from a fantasy
The pollen count has been exceptionally high and I am looking forward to the washing rains that are supposed to be coming. I started loosing my voice Sunday night and officially drove home the laryngitis by going to see this:
Let's just say they still Got It: The Right Stuff and I like every other woman my age at the concert screamed like a 12 year old girl for 2 hours. It was awesome.
However, waking up without a voice and some chest congestion was not. The pollen count remained high and I think a combination of allergies and plan rides resulted in some bronchitis and laryngitis. I got this confirmed on Wednesday and I am on an albuterol inhaler and have run since Saturday.The nurse practitioner at the general medicine clinic was very impressed with my chemo perm. I told her that I was a little anxious about my lungs hurting because of the 4 mm of inflammation on my CT scan 1.5 months ago and I wanted to keep my lungs clear. She ignored that I obviously had my crazy pants on and calmly let me know I had done the right thing and if I wasn't feeling better to come back in a week and we'll add some antibiotics into the mix.
back to life, back to the day we have
Today I'm really congested and I like to think that I sound like this:
In reality I sound more like this:
With a lot of hacking. But, that's why they gave me the cough medicine with the codeine, that and for the technicolor dreams of being back on vacation.
I am writing this sitting in my coveted survivor t-shirt from today's race. The Lahey Health 5K Cancer Walk and Run is a great event. They have lots of food, tables under a giant tent, bouncy houses (which we did consider going on) and even better lots of people! The organizer's said that this year had more participants than ever and were very close to hitting their goal for fundraising. People were very generous with there donations and my awesome co-workers decided to put the money from our bake sale under my name, so my official total was over $3,000. Amazing. My goals was $400. Part of the money goes toward survivor programs, so you could say I had a personal interest in it.
Here is me and my parents. I have already put my survivor t-shirt on. Mom and Dad are post walk.
Last year, I ran the Lahey 5K to support the organization I didn't know that much about and it poured rain the entire time. I went by myself. There were only 120 people running and I ended up winning; running 20:32.
This year I ran to support the Cancer Center and all it's programs and the life it has given me. It was 85 degrees, humid and triple the amount of people running. I came with an entourage; my parents, my friend from the 3rd grade who ran with me through chemo, her fiance, and one of my friends who is a high school/GBTC teammate (I think we've been teammates for 11 years). I ran ONLY 4 seconds slower than last year! 20:36 (6:39 min/mile) pace. I would have beaten it too, but apparently the heat training I did in Arizona did not pay off. I had to stop for a few seconds to dry heave half a mile from the finish line and ended up getting passed by another woman. I regrouped I ended up 4th woman overall! I will take it. I am really excited about how well my body has recovered and the fitness that I have gained. I ran into my oncologist and nurse practitioner at the walk. The were both really happy to hear that given the year I nearly ran the same time.
Thanks to everyone who donated and offered encouragement, it was greatly appreciated. I'm off to drink more water and dream of the pool I swam in everyday on vacation.
This is often a song in my head why I run. I definitely need some Warriors Code with half a mile to go.
