To The Person Just Diagnosed with Breast Cancer

Dear Newest Breast Cancer Friend,

Welcome to the club you never wanted admission to. I know it's a scary time for you. When those bastard cells betray you and the clinician tells you "It's Breast Cancer" there are many things you want to know, many things you think you know, and many things you should know.

Your path is your own. Some people have double mastectomies, some people have lumpectomies, some people have no surgery at all. Some folks have radiation, some have chemo, some have hormone treatment and some have it all. Find a surgeon and oncologist that you have faith in. Trusting the information you are being provided is very important. It is also important to look for quality in your research. Yes, you want to weigh your options, but make sure you are using a trusted source.  Preferably your information and resources should come from your medical team,  but if you are going online I recommend breastcancer.org, cancer.org or drsusanloveresearch.org and not some crazy internet blogger. Reading about every single scenario can make a scary time even scarier. If you find you can't keep yourself off the internet, try not to do your research in the middle of the night when your overtired. It can lead to you misreading and misinterpreting information and keep you awake longer than you need to be.

Recently, the folks at Cure Forward reached out to me to let me know about their new service to help build a cancer community around "precision medicine". Their idea is to help folks with cancer to tailor their cancer treatment around the genetics of their cancer. As someone who had her tumor tested multiple time for it's DNA (the PRESENT study just retested the level of the HER 2 in my tumor {which is kept where?} because they developed another, better test for the HER 2 expression) this sounds like a fascinating idea. It also is something I feel like other people should be able to have. My oncologist looked at the genetic profile of my tumor and was able to determine that it was intermediately aggressive and that helped her make the decision to provide me with only 4 rounds of chemotherapy and not more (for which I am very grateful). Here is a Boston Globe article with more information about the company which appears to be a great platform for connecting cancer fighters to the proper scientists.

Our Mother's raised us to be strong, independent women. That is all fine and dandy, but get ready for everyone you've ever met reaching out to you and offering help, kindness, encouragement or anything they can. At first, the hardest thing can be accepting help from other people, but do it. Let them all help, in whatever way you want or need. Hold on to all the cards and letters that people send you. I tacked them to my wall and when I was having a down day, I would read as many as I needed to get that smile back on my face. It often only took one. Or find other ways to get to your happy place; your favorite music or a gratitude journal can help you keep a positive attitude and keep you happy.

You're going to laugh more often than you think. A sense of humor goes ridiculously far in cancer treatment. As a Breast Cancer patient it can sometimes feel like there is a continuity of indignities that testing and examination provides. If you can look at your new scar and quote Monty Python ("It's merely a flesh wound") or hear the Star Wars version of "Call Me Maybe" in your MRI you'll find the entire process more bearable. Who care's what other people think. You do you. Whatever works for you and makes the process easier, do it. Having cancer allows you to be selfish, in order to fight you have to put you first.

Enjoy, and celebrate, the smallest of victories. "I completed my MRI today!". "I didn't make my Mother cry today!" "I woke up!" "I finally got that weird taste out of my mouth". Celebrate each milestone by doing something for yourself. I celebrated in a variety of different ways: running, eating treats, baking, buying myself Red Sox tickets.

Now hurry up and wait. Things can move agonizingly slow in the beginning. Remember, everyone needs a path and things will move once you have a starting path. Paths of care in cancer treatment are very flexible; your plan will morph and change as you work your way through treatment. The more data that is collected about your specific cancer will change the way you are being treated.

We're rooting for you. Go kick ass. 

Sara