Mammogram: The New Contact Sport

Upon the insistence of the Research Study I got squished today. Off schedule and it caused a LOT of confusion. The folks in the breast imaging center were very concerned this morning and called the research assistant 3 times before I got a hold of them and explained why and what was going on. Then the radiology tech when she brought me into the squish room was trying to call people to find out what was going on. I explained to her that the Research Study Powers that Be were requiring it. She made two phone calls to let folks know that I was indeed there to have a bilateral mammogram on purpose. I greatly appreciated their thoroughness.

The waiting room for mammograms is also where I waited to have my initial biopsy done. My mammogram was a Tuesday at 1:45 pm. I know that Tuesdays at 1 and 2 are when they do they biopsies. I offered a kind smile to both women who were having their biopsies. One woman had undergone many of these before and she spent time assuring her friend (her support that she brought) that it would be ok. I guess her friend doesn't know about comfort in, dump out. The other woman looked scared. I hope my smiling and giving her "the nod" that this episode of divorce court playing on tv was hilarious helped. The mammogram waiting room is also a place that everyone does look my way, because I am about 20 years younger at least than most folks there. I was also the most relaxed person in the waiting room because thanks to mochaccino flavored barium I knew this was going to be negative. Painful, but negative.

Today I got to have the new 3D mammogram. I was excited. In my head I envisioned the 3D mammogram as something that wouldn't squish. You know some sort of scanner that they would just scan across and be done. So very wrong. The radiology tech lets me know that because they can get better pictures with the 3D mammogram that they really squish you to get the best pictures. She goes on to tell me that because I have metal clips in both breasts and that they are all close to the chest wall that this is going to be tough. Next up is 20 minutes of attempting to become one with the machine.

20 minutes of vice grips. 20 minutes of feeling like the machine was trying to pop my boob like a zit. 20 minutes of weird arm angles, sticking my butt out, moving my chin over here, pulling my shoulder back there. My favorite part is always when they have you in that weird position then lower the squisher pieces to lock your boob up tight is they tell you not to breath. No problem. The radiology tech really worked hard to get the best pictures often climbing under the machine to reposition me. She may have apologized a lot. But, sore ribs, back and boobs totally worth it for the report:

 "Clean! Follow up in 1 year!" 

Still have Salt and Peppa as my theme song for mammograms. May have sang "Squish it" during it.