From the Caregiver Prospective

I was contacted by a family member of a cancer survivor about posting his prospective about the journey though cancer and what it was like for him. Please enjoy his post below:

How I Learned to Be a Father, Friend, and a Cancer Caregiver

On November 21, 2005, when I heard my wife’s diagnosis of mesothelioma, I also gained a new job of caregiver. I was unprepared for the role that came three months after my daughter, Lily, was born. Instead of preparing to celebrate the holidays with my daughter for the first time, we were planning for cancer treatments. Our lives were in total chaos.

My job as a caregiver began by speaking with the doctor about our treatment options. Our three choices were a local university hospital, a regional hospital, and a specialist in Boston, Dr. David Sugarbaker. When I looked at my wife, she was silent and in shock, unable to choose. So, I made the choice of the specialist because I thought it was the best choice for her health. I knew that if she had any chance of surviving this, she would need the best care possible.

After the diagnosis, our normal routines changed. We went from working full-time to part-time or not at all. As a part-timer, I spent my time away from work making travel arrangements, traveling to Boston, and taking care of our daughter, Lily.  I was overwhelmed with things to do.

I often had racing thoughts that my wife would die of cancer or that we would lose all our possessions and end up broke and homeless. When I was faced with this fear, I found myself on the kitchen floor crying my eyes out. I felt helpless, but I did my best to keep my feelings private.  I knew that the last thing Heather needed was to see my fears.  

Without the financial assistance and comforting words of friends, family, and complete strangers, we wouldn’t have made it. If someone offers help, accept the help no matter how big or small, because being a caregiver is difficult. You can’t walk away from the job or be overwhelmed by fear or anger. The best advice I can offer is to never give up, remain sane, and use all the resources you have to stay strong in the fight.

It took years for our lives to return to normal after chemotherapy, radiation, and mesothelioma surgery. It’s been seven years, and Heather is still cancer-free.

Through it all, I learned to handle stress, and I learned time management skills.  More than that, I found the courage to pursue my own dreams.  I made the decision to return to school for Information Technology. I graduated with high honors, and I was the graduation speaker of my class. I spoke of hope and how we should never give up, because each of us can accomplish incredible things if we just believe in ourselves. We now hope that by sharing our story, we can help inspire others currently fighting through their own battles with cancer.

To read more from Cameron please go here:

http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog/authors/cameron/