Lots of Thanks for this Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving. 

This year I am thankful for a world full of loving, supportive people. I am thankful for my family and the amount of driving back and forth, weird requests and unconditional love they provide. I am thankful for the level of crankiness they can withstand. I am thankful for all my friends and how I always knew they were awesome people, but know I can give concrete examples to the world that they are the best ever. I am thankful for their continued support of my twisted sense of humor. I have corkboards on my wall and when this adventure began started filling them up. Well, I had to double them in size and they are covered in well wishes.  I am thankful for all the new people that Cancer has brought into my life. Although I wish that none of us had this shared journey it is comforting to know that they have made it though and are routing for me.

I am thankful for modern medicine and early detection methods. I am thankful for clean PET scans and false MRI reports. I am thankful that 3 Chemo infusions are done, and I am mostly through 3 nuelasta shots (in case the above ramblings did not make clear, feeling a little fuzzy this am). I am thankful I am healed (with scars) from surgery and that if all else goes well about 12 weeks away from being done with the Triple Crown.

Today I am thankful for my mom's mashed potatoes. I already had to ask her not to let me attempt to eat all 5 lbs of them. Despite recent taste changes, they still will taste delicious.

Human Pincushion, Chemo Infusion #3 complete

Well, my mother and I jinxed ourselves on the way in today. Hey there is no impeding snowstorm or hurricane, this will be easy as pie (Thanksgiving on the brain). Well, my veins did not cooperate. One of the nurses it was her first day at the hospital and they all thought, hey lets give her the young one with good veins. Well my good veins are a little upset with the Taxotere (a known irritant) and after she tried to get the vein (which most most unpleasant and in my roid rage I told her so "Yeah, so that does not feel ok") for a few minutes and you could see the bruise forming. Her preceptor came over bearing hot towels and two more veins were tried by her. No success. More hot towels and the nurse who is the best stick in the unit came over and couldn't get the fourth stick to go. We were one stick away from having to call in the IV team (and now 45 minutes delayed from my infusion start). I had all sorts of gauze taped to me and 4 new bruises.  Then the 5th time was a charm, finally got a vein that wasn't so pissed off that it collapsed and had good blood return! Yay (and ouch). Otherwise, infusion went well. For the visual learners this is what it looks like:

The bear was a big hit. The volunteers who bring around lunch were obsessed with him. One had picked him up and was talking too him She asked me if I needed anything and I asked if they had any honey. She straight face looks at me and asks "For the bear?". I laughed, I said no for my yogurt. Another light moment in the day was when my head got cold and I put my sock monkey hat on. My oncologist came to check in. She took one look at me and just laughed. It's apparently really hard to take me serious when I have that hat on. The volunteers decided that officially made me the Cutest Patient of the Day. I'll take it. 

Factoids from the day: Weight is stable. Up 0.7lbs. Hematocrit and hemoglobin were slightly decreased, but ok. My blood sugar level was improved down to 137 mg/dL. The only item that was low was my bicarb. However, given the stomach bug from the previous Saturday not unexpected. But, everything looks good. Got the "really" look when I did tell the Oncologist that I didn't take anytime off last week despite being tired. Oops

We Jammin'

Stomach bug resolved. Confirmed with the oncologist definitely not chemo related. Happily I was able to work a full week and more importantly (for my sanity) got two whole runs in. I have never been a "pretty" runner, but these are especially ugly runs. I feel like I am running in my sleep which always seems to be going through molasses. They look probably worse than this:

In my new life as a hermit I have difficulty staying awake past 7:30 pm at night. So I sleep for a minimum of 8 hours a night. However, I have had some really bizarre dreams. One night I dreamt that one of my colleagues was on American Idol and I conspired with Simon Cowell (yes I am aware he is not on the show) to get her kicked off because work was too busy. However, last nights dream was really something special. In the dream I had dreadlocks (yup) and carried around a British bulldog on some hot Island country. I know the bulldog was British because I made a point to tell everyone (in real life I have no idea what the difference is between bulldogs). I woke up singing Bob Marley. At least this was a happy dream, and I enjoyed the steel drum soundtrack.

I forget sometimes

I forget sometimes that my immune system may not be what it has always been. I forget sometimes that because of chemotherapy I shouldn't eat food at gatherings that other peoples hands may have touched. I forget that because I feel so well I don't have to meticulously watch these things. I am reminded when I have to spend all of Saturday morning in the bathroom because of a slight food borne illness. I am reminded when I have to cancel dinner plans and a run with friends.

I forget sometimes that my cardiovascular system is not in the shape it usually is. I forget sometimes that I shouldn't run after the bus when the MBTA is late pulling into the station. I forget that I shouldn't run the 300 m with two flights of stairs all out and the 50 m to catch the bus that has pulled out of the stop. I am reminded when it takes me the entire 30 minute bus ride to catch my breath. I am reminded when after I feel like I have done 6x400 m at sub 70 pace (jello legs). 

I forget sometimes that I am bald. I am reminded with any shiny surface where I can see my current speed stripe (where I used part my hair all of the peach fuzz has fallen out).

I am reminded that I am kickin' cancers ass and that it's only a matter of time until I can do all these things again. 

Sisterhood of the Traveling Teddy Bear

Yesterday, I got to meet one of the nurses that my colleagues in the MICU put me in contact with. Via e-mail and reading her blog I have been able to communicate with someone who knows exactly what I am going through. She's in her 30s and finishing up her treatment. Its nice to read about shared experiences (like struggling with acne while losing your hair, thanks Chemo!), but it has also put into perspective my own experience. She was diagnosed while on active military service. Can't even imagine going though this whole experience and having it start in another country. She's a total rock star. It was great to put a face to the name.

She came bearing gifts (couldn't resist). Above is the Traveling Teddy Bear and she brought him to pass along to me while I go through treatment. Mr. Bear is holding in his hand a tissue (right paw). On the tissue there are two names; one for each of the nurses in the MICU who have had breast cancer and successfully completed treatment. Eventually, I will be able to put my name on the tissue. In a perfect world there would be no one else to pass him onto, but in the meantime he has taken up residence on my couch. He enjoys it much better than riding the bus. However, if you are ever in need of having a seat to yourself on a bus ride it bald while holding a Teddy bear. People just run away. Either way his presence makes me smile and gives me hope; not a bad combination. 

How to care for your peach fuzz

 Feeling pretty good. Did some baking this weekend. For me baking involves putting on music and dancing around while, in this case, making muffins. Went for a run this morning. Not pretty. About 6 minutes in I decided to turn around at the end of the street. Ran for a total of 14 minutes and it did not feel good. But, happy I at least ran.

Below are some post run photos. Left is my sweet hot pink running jacket, middle is me having fun with my sock monkey hat (new facebook profile photo?) and right is my under layer. It's the freshly delivered shirt from my brother and his fiance. It's a copy of the shirt they race the Susan G Komen 5K in.

From looking at the above photos, I am sure you are curious as to how I take such great care of my peach fuzz. The answer: Johnson's baby shampoo. It has totally calmed my scalp for the time being. This week is a hair growth week and then next week is a hair loss week (or so that is how the last cycle went).



Side Effects
I continue to have some weird taste changes and right now I am having severe heartburn. I was told that the chemo can increase heartburn and as I had chronic heartburn before chemo I knew it was a matter of time. I think it should really be called Tummy Burn as when my reflux is really bad everything burns. However, not holding me back from eating. Given the increase in weird taste in my mouth my grocery shopping was a little weird this week. My father says my cart does not look like a dietitian's (frozen fruit, fresh fruit and veggies aside) as I am seemingly obsessed with herb cheese and popchips right now.Also, eggs are great tasting. Good thing a side effect of the hormone therapy I'll eventually be on is decreased cholesterol!

 

As Ralph says "They taste like burning". 

Nuelasta making me feel like crappa

Felt great all day Tuesday and then got the WBC booster shot. Still burned on the way in. Then yesterday I took the day off and made the most of it, the way Rip Van Winkle does. I basically slept off an on for 36 hours with a couple bowls of cereal and half and sandwich thrown in for good measure. Heating pads (and my new heated mattress pad) got me through yesterday. My shoulders are sore and I can count my ribs without touching them (thanks Nuelasta!), but I was able to go to work and work the entire day (and teach a student). The best way I can describe the way the shot makes you feel is fuzzy. Your a little slow moving, but still there just under a couple of layers.

The daily interactions with people secondary to my baldness are always pleasant and interesting and seem to be increasing in frequency. But, I think this is just selection bias. While doing a low fat diet education for a patient in with pancreatitis she took her wig off and asked where in my chemo I was. We briefly discussed hair loss. She complimented me on my nice shaped head and promised to follow her diet.