We Jammin'

Stomach bug resolved. Confirmed with the oncologist definitely not chemo related. Happily I was able to work a full week and more importantly (for my sanity) got two whole runs in. I have never been a "pretty" runner, but these are especially ugly runs. I feel like I am running in my sleep which always seems to be going through molasses. They look probably worse than this:

In my new life as a hermit I have difficulty staying awake past 7:30 pm at night. So I sleep for a minimum of 8 hours a night. However, I have had some really bizarre dreams. One night I dreamt that one of my colleagues was on American Idol and I conspired with Simon Cowell (yes I am aware he is not on the show) to get her kicked off because work was too busy. However, last nights dream was really something special. In the dream I had dreadlocks (yup) and carried around a British bulldog on some hot Island country. I know the bulldog was British because I made a point to tell everyone (in real life I have no idea what the difference is between bulldogs). I woke up singing Bob Marley. At least this was a happy dream, and I enjoyed the steel drum soundtrack.

I forget sometimes

I forget sometimes that my immune system may not be what it has always been. I forget sometimes that because of chemotherapy I shouldn't eat food at gatherings that other peoples hands may have touched. I forget that because I feel so well I don't have to meticulously watch these things. I am reminded when I have to spend all of Saturday morning in the bathroom because of a slight food borne illness. I am reminded when I have to cancel dinner plans and a run with friends.

I forget sometimes that my cardiovascular system is not in the shape it usually is. I forget sometimes that I shouldn't run after the bus when the MBTA is late pulling into the station. I forget that I shouldn't run the 300 m with two flights of stairs all out and the 50 m to catch the bus that has pulled out of the stop. I am reminded when it takes me the entire 30 minute bus ride to catch my breath. I am reminded when after I feel like I have done 6x400 m at sub 70 pace (jello legs). 

I forget sometimes that I am bald. I am reminded with any shiny surface where I can see my current speed stripe (where I used part my hair all of the peach fuzz has fallen out).

I am reminded that I am kickin' cancers ass and that it's only a matter of time until I can do all these things again. 

Sisterhood of the Traveling Teddy Bear

Yesterday, I got to meet one of the nurses that my colleagues in the MICU put me in contact with. Via e-mail and reading her blog I have been able to communicate with someone who knows exactly what I am going through. She's in her 30s and finishing up her treatment. Its nice to read about shared experiences (like struggling with acne while losing your hair, thanks Chemo!), but it has also put into perspective my own experience. She was diagnosed while on active military service. Can't even imagine going though this whole experience and having it start in another country. She's a total rock star. It was great to put a face to the name.

She came bearing gifts (couldn't resist). Above is the Traveling Teddy Bear and she brought him to pass along to me while I go through treatment. Mr. Bear is holding in his hand a tissue (right paw). On the tissue there are two names; one for each of the nurses in the MICU who have had breast cancer and successfully completed treatment. Eventually, I will be able to put my name on the tissue. In a perfect world there would be no one else to pass him onto, but in the meantime he has taken up residence on my couch. He enjoys it much better than riding the bus. However, if you are ever in need of having a seat to yourself on a bus ride it bald while holding a Teddy bear. People just run away. Either way his presence makes me smile and gives me hope; not a bad combination. 

How to care for your peach fuzz

 Feeling pretty good. Did some baking this weekend. For me baking involves putting on music and dancing around while, in this case, making muffins. Went for a run this morning. Not pretty. About 6 minutes in I decided to turn around at the end of the street. Ran for a total of 14 minutes and it did not feel good. But, happy I at least ran.

Below are some post run photos. Left is my sweet hot pink running jacket, middle is me having fun with my sock monkey hat (new facebook profile photo?) and right is my under layer. It's the freshly delivered shirt from my brother and his fiance. It's a copy of the shirt they race the Susan G Komen 5K in.

From looking at the above photos, I am sure you are curious as to how I take such great care of my peach fuzz. The answer: Johnson's baby shampoo. It has totally calmed my scalp for the time being. This week is a hair growth week and then next week is a hair loss week (or so that is how the last cycle went).



Side Effects
I continue to have some weird taste changes and right now I am having severe heartburn. I was told that the chemo can increase heartburn and as I had chronic heartburn before chemo I knew it was a matter of time. I think it should really be called Tummy Burn as when my reflux is really bad everything burns. However, not holding me back from eating. Given the increase in weird taste in my mouth my grocery shopping was a little weird this week. My father says my cart does not look like a dietitian's (frozen fruit, fresh fruit and veggies aside) as I am seemingly obsessed with herb cheese and popchips right now.Also, eggs are great tasting. Good thing a side effect of the hormone therapy I'll eventually be on is decreased cholesterol!

 

As Ralph says "They taste like burning". 

Nuelasta making me feel like crappa

Felt great all day Tuesday and then got the WBC booster shot. Still burned on the way in. Then yesterday I took the day off and made the most of it, the way Rip Van Winkle does. I basically slept off an on for 36 hours with a couple bowls of cereal and half and sandwich thrown in for good measure. Heating pads (and my new heated mattress pad) got me through yesterday. My shoulders are sore and I can count my ribs without touching them (thanks Nuelasta!), but I was able to go to work and work the entire day (and teach a student). The best way I can describe the way the shot makes you feel is fuzzy. Your a little slow moving, but still there just under a couple of layers.

The daily interactions with people secondary to my baldness are always pleasant and interesting and seem to be increasing in frequency. But, I think this is just selection bias. While doing a low fat diet education for a patient in with pancreatitis she took her wig off and asked where in my chemo I was. We briefly discussed hair loss. She complimented me on my nice shaped head and promised to follow her diet.

Sandy please, Chemo infusion #2 done!

Hurricane Sandy may have added some anxiety to the chemo infusion. My mother picked me up last night so I stayed at their place last night and had a simple ride into the hospital today. Had to drop some things off my desk, had a minor tantrum about work related items and then had to be reminded I am off today. Went down to the Oncology center had my blood drawn, vitals taken (blood pressure, Oxygen levels good, weight down only 1lb [not to worry I will eat that back]).

Rockin' it bald
No scarves, no wigs and hat only when I go outside. Inside buildings I find it much easier/more comfortable to go straight out bald. While waiting for the blood draw one of the women in the waiting room, looks at me and says "Your bald like me, but your not even wearing a hat? I am so cold, how come you are not cold? And there is no way you'll get me in a wig". I just told her that I felt cold outside and periodically will put a hat on inside, but so far my 5 O'Clock shadow I have remaining on my head seems to be keeping it ok. Agreed to with her about the wig. Our conversation was shortened when another woman, clearly wearing a wig came into the waiting room and sat with us. General reaction to my bald head has been great.

Very Stubborn
My oncologist has me pegged quite well. We went over options to avoid the headaches after the neulasta shots (including not having them) and rearranging infusions schedules and such. We reviewed the medication I should/can take for them. And being the human being who doesn't like change that I am, I decided to keep the schedule as is and to continue to get the shots. I just feel like the risks of not having it a much greater than 3 days of headaches. My oncologist also reminded me that her office is 3 doors down for mine and that she runs into me daily and that if I need to take it easy I should. She may have repeated this last part 3 or 4 times. Yup, I am that kid.

Labs look good. Blood sugar is elevated from the steroids (157 mg/dl), but WBCs look good. Everything else is within normal limits just my hematocrit was barely low 36.8% vs normal of 37%. Nothing that needs intervention, just maybe some more meat.

Chemo Infusion #2
A little musical commentary (thanks to my good friend) about chemotherapy. Nothing like intentionally poisoning your body for longterm better outcomes:

I love the continuity of care I am receiving. Today I had the same Nurse as last time, who I love. She got me hooked up early and ready to go. Her mom had breast cancer and she commented on how good my bald head looked. No burning lines this time. IV was placed in my hand and had some achiness but so excited no allergic reactions! They say the 2nd one is really if you are going to have a reaction that this will occur.  Half way done.

The drive home
I fully expected the drive back to my parents to be Hurricane Craziness, but it was ok. Just one really strong gust of wind, one downed tree. The rain wasn't too bad. We made it back safe and sound with car parked in the garage before stronger rain came. Feel good about that and feel pretty good right now.  No Zofran headache this time. No nausea. Drinking my water, doing my baking soda mouth rinses. Pretty happy to have 2 infusions done.

Hair Watch 2012 Update

Bald.

My hair was making me crazy. The falling out had greatly increased, especially today. At one point today I was teaching my intern about nutritional management of patients who have had a Whipple procedure and was scratching my head when came out with a clump of hair. Oops. I cleaned my white lab coat off 3 times today. After work my mother and I went to the family friend/hairdresser who gave me the sweet pixie and she shaved my head for me today. I look very GI Jane right now. I also asked my mother if she wanted me to shave her name into my head. She said no. So just straight bald it is.

Three things.
1) Not to brag, but I have a fantastic head shape. No weird dents or misshapen. It's pretty sweet.
2) I look like a small version of my brother. 
3) My head is cold.

To quote one of my favorite bald men "Hair is overrated".